Living a Dual-Military Life

I met Julie at a last year and we hit it off! She and her husband are both Active Duty currently stationed at Joint Base Lewis-McChord. Today she’s sharing what her life is like.

After meeting Jessica at a baby shower for a friend, I started following her blog. I am honored to be able to share what it’s like to be more than a military spouse, and in this case, more than just a military service member!

Dual military spouses—this is the title both my husband and I have in this crazy Army life we live, and it definitely has its own set of challenges. Casey (my hubby) is an active duty Infantry Officer currently deployed to Afghanistan, and I, Julie, am an active duty Medical Service Corps Officer stationed at JBLM.

Julie and her husband Casey. Photo courtesy Julie.

Julie and her husband Casey. Photo courtesy Julie.

Casey and I have been long distance from day one- he was finishing Officer Candidate School (OCS) at Ft. Benning, GA and I was working on my masters degree and a ROTC Commission from Florida State University. We traveled over 6 hours round trip to see each other on weekends for one year while Casey finished all his training (including: OCS, Basic Officer Leader’s Course [BOLC], Ranger School [which was the toughest challenge], and Airborne School) and I earned my masters and Army commission.

Our challenges have included having almost three and half months of communicating only by letters while he was at Ranger School and then I at my own training, flying across country to see one another when he was stationed in WA and I was still in FL, and not having the ability to be in the same place together for more than a few weeks at a time. Since meeting Casey, the MOST time we have ever spent together in the same place has been around two months! TWO MONTHS! That’s crazy right? But because of the training/schooling we have both had, and then Casey’s Afghanistan deployment, this is our life of distance and maintaining a marriage through letters, emails, and phone calls.

Being a dual military spouse, I worry that our assignments won’t match up (however there is a program called the Married Army Couples Program that helps dual spouses to get stationed together, but there are certain times this is impossible). Or that our training dates will keep us apart for longer; for example I had to go to my BOLC in October 2012 and Casey deployed in November 2012, which meant one extra month of not seeing one another in an already daunting 9 months apart. There are times when Casey calls from Afghanistan that I can’t drop everything to answer, since I am out “playing Army” myself.

Military spouses know how frustrating it can be to make plans in advance, since you really can never be sure what the Army has in store for your loved one. Being dual military means DOUBLE the frustration and planning around two unknown schedules. However challenging it is, there are also really good parts to it too: I never take any time with my hubby for granted, we get two BAH’s (at the without dependent rate), we understand the lingo and never really have to decode Army speak for each other, and we both get to feel that sense of pride in serving our country. Sure it makes for many lonely nights apart, but those days that we say hello again are the best ones in the world.

Thanks so much for sharing Julie! Any of you ladies serve alongside your husband? If you’re interested in sharing your story email me!

6 responses to “Living a Dual-Military Life

  1. Can you email me a link to Jessica’s blog? I am also dual military and have been looking for other people who have similar experiences!

  2. Hi! I would also love to see more dual military posts!! I’m dual military myself and it seems as if EVERYTHING is always about regular milspouses, and there’s just no support for people like me, especially being enlisted. I loved reading this and seeing others who understand this crazy hectic lifestyle that I live, among a very small group of others. The hardest part has been trying to make friends among other wives and never quite feeling like I fit in the same.

  3. Conner Mashburn

    Woww, I can totally relate…. so refreshing knowing other people go through the same whirlwinds. My husband and I have lived in the same city for 4 months total and already he’s been on 2 deployments. Just found out today (makes it so strange I read this blog today, too) that we will be missing our one year anniversary together, as well as Christmas, at the end of this year, due to him leaving for a 3rd deployment…. I commission this May 3rd (hubby is swearing me in, eek!) and on top of everything, he is AF & I am Army…. I’d be lying if I said it was easy. Kudos to you guys for understanding this life, too. 🙂

  4. I’m going to be commissioned as an officer in the Army soon I am currently in the AROTC and at that time when I do get commissioned my husband will be going active duty for the Army as well. Hopefully we can get it as good as the women who just live with their husbands. (No offense to them it isn’t that easy for them either) I’m there to work hard so is he but if we can live together that would be a blessing from God the best thing in the world!!! I wouldn’t even care about the deployment waits since we live with each other when we are not deployed!!!! That would be awesome !!!!!! God Bless all of us with our plans hopefully it unfolds the way we want it to. Stay motivated !!!! If anyone does live in the same base as their husband or wife while both in the military please give us as much information as possible . Give us hope !!! <3 we want to be apart of the military married couple program we deserve it just as much !!!!

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